Sunday, June 1, 2014

Not everyone's garden of peace


There were no church bells ringing, escort of recognition for Elisha Tucker as her family drove themselves to the graveside memorial on May 24, 2014. You see Elisha was a reported missing person and that was all. Her family struggled to find her, knowing something was wrong when all communication had stopped. Their were no calls from authorities with updates, no massive searches conducted for her whereabouts and nothing on the news. This is the raw truth.

Many people are reported missing each day and so many fall in the deep crack of being labeled an adult missing person, this is truly harmful. We have to do better, we have to listen, and we have to pay attention to all missing individuals. A need for importance of the simple value of human life desires the attention for empathy, no matter the circumstances of the persons life or the disappearance. The mere fact that someone is absent and people who know them the best and love them unconditionally, must play a factoring role in our quest. 

Although Elisha's farewell was small the broken feeling you felt for those left behind to endure was great. The casket was showered with photo collages and flowers of all colors. The words presented to us were about making a change in ones life, family and love. A bitterness still floated in the air for her loved ones as she was found simply by chance and only because police were looking for another missing woman in a almost closed landscaping field. But was it by chance? No, she deserved to be found and I am sure many walked away with a life lesson that day. We all have to matter, we all are loved by someone, we all need to be found, but more importantly "all need to be searched for". 

Elisha is the mother of five and who adored her children, she loved her close nit family and had a great deal of caring friends. She loved to dress up and wear lots of colors. Many spoke of her trusting nature, I stood in silence but wondering if that had contributed to her trusting the wrong person, the person who murdered her. The hugs, caring words I received for taking the time to care and help the family stuck in my throat as a dry spot for a reply. I had only got the case in March when her mother showed up to our annual event with her other daughter so fragile you could barley stand to watch it in real time. Shaking, fighting back tears, clinging on to her daughters arm, she sought me out at our national conference hosted for missing persons. Once I saw the condition of her pain I immediately found other mothers to comfort her, one mother, Janeane embraced her and from that moment on never let her go, even when she returned up north to her home. 

As I walked in the hot sunlight with flowers in hand I saw the mother struggling to find ground to stand on, needing to get to her chair, I grabbed her and helped her to her family. I felt such a great sadness for her loss - I connected by the touch and her grip to hold on. No family, no human being should have to endure that kind of loss. Death leaves a path of devastation, but murder leaves an enormous suffering of desperation. A desperation of lost hope, questions, shock, confusion, hatred and heartbreak; all rolled in together is what I call a "cluster - - - -" of a situation. 

The readings were heartfelt as the gathering of people all stepped in to listen, you could hear people crying, some even mourned softly, her children all had a blank stare ahead, when they did look at an adult for comfort they received it gently by the holding of a hand tightly. I realized as I have before, missing people touch more than one generation; Elisha's elders, her parents, her current age loved ones and now leaving her children to bare witness to this darkness. My friend Lisa came to town for our roadside rally which was being held the next day for missing persons, she again stood by my side as she has many times before in support for the families. You see Lisa knows all to well as her sister was once missing and now remains an unsolved homicide. I thought about her too, standing there and what she might be going through and under my breathe I said a prayer of peace for her.  


It was time to leave, we said our goodbyes, I whispered in Elisha's mother's ear, we are not going anywhere and when things calmed down and people went away, there I would be for her again. As we walked across the large city like grounds with life rushing around all corners of this graveyard, I still had one more stop.  My nieces grave deserved a visit from me, it had been too long since the last visit. We placed flowers down for her, said a prayer and pulled back the weeds trying to grab all sides of her headstone, took a picture for her mother and walked away. 

I reflected as I looked off in the distance at Elisha's family still at her site and I had no regrets. They asked for my help, I gave it by searching for her, getting her story heard by the news, put posters out, featured her at the conference vigil, provided her family with a daily support person and stayed until a resolution was afforded. Although it was a short time with them, I was true to my organizations mission. I will always feel accomplished in bringing those missing home, seeing things through to the end, even if it's to this place that is "not everyone's garden of peace". 

Monica Caison
5/24/2014




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